A very meaningful thing

Wah...it has been a long moment that I didnt write and publish any post after middle of Jan. During the period when I dissappearred at my blog, many things happenned to me and I cant make every fully description of what it is quite important for me,so that I need to summarize them....

Before I mention my meaningful thing I deeply realize, I would like to appreciate the happenings in which it made me upset and then to be clear. Sometimes, I couldnt blame my fate or destiny of which is unfair to me, that it was really caused by my less ability of self-conditioning. What does it mean? Why do I need to shortening myself? There is no any other persuasable excuses they can be used to protect me, I can declare that it is my wrong...If I was able to concentrete on sth in which it is crucial to my further direction, whether its effect is to be shorter or longer, the bad consequence would not occur to my side. Fortunately, I didnt take my A-level result directly from exam center due to my workload over, otherwise I maybe teared at the moment when I got to know it..

My result is really bad and unsatisficed, even it can be likely seen to destroy my dream to studying Uni. It is not a joke, in fact, I thought I couldnt achieve it , before the result is released and after I left the place of exam where I took the last paper at last day. This idea or ideological plan was having around in my mind. What is it? All right, I have succeed persuade myself and made a ultimate decision, which is RETAKING A-LEVELS EXAM BY ONE SITTING at May/June session. I think it is the only one solution to rescue me from its difficulty.

Yes, I had success to take it up because I did some preparations ,such as researching the S`pore Universities` undergraduate basic qualifications, the period of applying or etc. Very fortunately I still can able to apply the vacancies after the period of application by taking my May/June result, that is specially opportunity open to this kind of students, including all public S`pore unis.. That is a good news to me, really nice to me...Thanks to gods!!!

However, I need to convince my mum and sis..Its task may likely be tough achieved. It contains three underlying factors. Firstly, it looks as a fearless and unattainable plan because nobody would try to retake it after pre-u school life, whatever the result is consequently to be. Secondly, it is a proud-less thing for every candidates, my mum will object my request within the optimum reason, especially for my sis, they cant tolerate me doing such idiol stuff. Thirdly, how I can do once I will do failure again, I must do the risk-bearing. I think rarely people are really dare to break it out and I had almost loss-confidence...

Although it dont need to be approved by them due to SUBSIDISE by my self saving of derived from monthly salaries, I must respect their suggestions. I can try to persuade but I cant resist to them strongly.

Before I register to retake, I never cut my process of rescuing myself off within my strong perceptions. I brought my familiar texbooks and notes from my lovely hometown to here, gradually recalling the contexts in which I was failed to memorize PUCNTUALLY. Within these period, my mum always argue with me about the possibility of achievement. I only said I will put my full efforts on my studies, whatever the consequence comes to be, I tried my best, I bet it all !!! At last, I succeed to let my mum and sis touched on my serious and hardworking to finish my task, then I contact my ex-head of programme, Mr Wong after the following days as well. Opps..it isnt a easy thing I can finish without anxiety, because of difficult of communication by 2 ways between us. I was unable to contact him as working consistently, or he is off after I get free. There is hard to reach the 2 wins balanced. During our interections, he would be seen as the people who normally think it like such a unique and unrealistic..Aiyo..I must not change my decision that I thought it right, it is my style...and something more............. Afterwards, he has also been convinced totally, whether there is really or not, I can step forward now. After I do it through remittance to Inti, I could fully concentrate on my studies now...Although nobody would willingly to trust me within another chance, I was not beatened easily...At least, I can make sure that there is the first time I put all my efforts on it sincerely based my relief, it is never before that I swear...Next topic I will blog how I handle my studies well as working and the reasons why I push myself into the unknown trace........